As the Dowry system is a curse and so also is the misuse of IPC498A (dowry) for the society

Hi Friends,

Greetings to all and pray you all are doing good.  

I would like to put forward two points which are a real curse to our society and hope you will agree with me:  

One is the Dowry system and the other is misuse of IPC498A (dowry) case against men and their families.  Are these two points fair to the society?  

Just a word to friends all over, please be very careful in your choice of action as it should not ruin anyone’s life and be left beaten in such a way that he or she may not be able to stand up again. Please don’t get me wrong. I am just talking of justice for both sides!

Cheers!!

" ... waiting to be awakened... and unleashed upon the world. With my nine-step "Refuse to Lose" program…  you now have the necessary tools and the insights... and the know-how to put your losing habits behind you... and to go out and make it... " Little Miss Sunshine

As the Dowry system is a curse and so also is the misuse of IPC498A (dowry) for the society

The dowry system is not only a curse but it really is also a blot on our society. The evil of dowry is a deep rooted one. The system has made the condition of women in Indian society very miserable. Unless this system is abolished, Indian society can make no progress.

The dowry system is not new for India. It is a very old system. It was also present in the days of Gautam Buddha and Mahavir. But in those days, there was no compulsion. The parents willingly gave presents, ornaments and money to their daughters at the time of their marriage, but in modern times, this system has taken a very ugly shape. It has now become a compulsion. It is now demanded and settled after a hard bargain. The boys are now sold in the open market on the highest price. The parents have to purchase them for their daughters. Even if the girl is equally or highly qualified and a career girl, still boy’s parents in terms of dowry demand what they have spent on their son’s education, career, business etc. and sometimes after the marriage, a new demand for more dowry from the bride’s parents emerges.  Brides who do not bring rich dowry with them are ill-treated and sometimes even killed or they may even be driven to commit suicide.

When parents are unable to meet dowry demand their daughters are compelled to accept unmatched marriages. This system has made the lives of poor parents of girls miserable. If they are unable to arrange a rich dowry, they find it difficult or rather impossible to marry their daughters to suitable young boys. Thousands of poor girls are compelled to pass unmarried life on account of this evil. The birth of the daughter in the house becomes a cause of great worry for the parents.  Sometimes parents start collecting gold etc. for their daughter when she is born, with a thought that will help them for the dowry later on. Their lives become miserable. Sometimes they have to take loans and remain in debt throughout their lives. Some parents earn money by immoral means for the marriage of their daughters. Some parents are compelled to give their daughters in marriage to old men or widowers (this basically happens in backward areas). Girl’s parents should help by reporting to government or concerned authorities about the dowry demands. Marriage with such boys should be discouraged as demand of excessive dowry means they do not want girl but money. This can result in extortion after marriage by torture.

All dowry receipts and payments need to be recorded with marriage registration authority to help in case unwanted incidents or separation occurs. Only with the courage of parents we can remove this curse from our society.

In short, no law will be able to abolish this menace. It is a social problem and can be fought on the social level alone even in this highly scientific world where we have moved so much above all these thoughts of today!

Parents are advised to educate their daughters as times have changed. In the present world, education has more value in the employment market and many fields have been opened for women to become entrepreneurs.  Amount of dowry may be invested for her secured future.

Sometimes, we wonder is marriage the ultimatum in a girl’s live.  Why can’t she be independent, and with a good education and a good stable job, live life on her terms and conditions.  But then, as parents, we would like our daughters to be happily married. Parents generally feel it is their duty to get the daughters married off, otherwise what will the society think. So, that’s it!  But again think twice before you get your daughter married into a greedy family.  It is rather not to get her married than regret when it is too late.  There are cases even if the boy does not want dowry and does like the girl, but being Mama’s boy comes to terms with his parents.

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What is it like to be a victim of false IPC498A (dowry) case?

The victim can be a woman too (sister or mother of the accused husband), as the entire family of the husband gets arrested without any enquiry.

There are many such cases all over India. Many men have committed suicide after getting harassed by this Section.

It is a big burden for a person at his prime age of life. Lots of career opportunities are killed and he has to run for courts lawyers, evidences, non-cooperative managers at office. Missing kids (The wife will play with the man's emotions by keeping him away from his kids at the same time alleging that the man is not taking care of the kid).   A wife does this only to get control over the husband.

Hmmm. The problem with 498a kind of cases is that it hits the middle class men who have never previously dealt with the criminal justice system of this country.

For once, the offence is non-bailable and the past of 498a is so checkered that it evokes instant fear of all family members being arrested. The courts are very much cautious in remanding family members to custody.

Though the sting is completely not out of 498a, but still if one plays his cards with patience, it can be beaten.  There are various groups which has sprang up across country to help men fight false 498a. These groups essentially provide emotional counselling with some rudimentary legal knowledge.

Our society and media are very much focused on women harassment cases. But what about when a man is harassed? Whether a woman sometimes forget, that she is the daughter, sister, wife and a mother of a man? When a boy gives a gentle push to a girl, it is teasing her. But when a girl give a gentle push to a boy, it is awarding him.  I hope women empowerment in our country is not for misusing it, but for the benefit of our society, culture and country. I can understand that there are few girls with this kind of mentality.  But women should come forward to protest these kind of misdeeds done by the women.  If it is not for themselves, then at least for their sons, fathers, husbands, and brothers. Woman in today's world: want equality but also want special treatment, don't say bad word for girls (you should be charged for sexual assault, eve teasing or rape) in India. Lacs of people (men and women) are arrested on false dowry, domestic violence, molestation and rape charges without any evidence these laws are often used as tools to settle scores and harass someone or an entire family and even to defame an organization this happens because the false victim continues to enjoy anonymity even if the complaint is found false, besides the alleged accused lose their reputation, career, etc even if they're declared innocent. Just a complaint is enough for arrest and harassment, proving isn't necessary at all to destroy the MEN, no wonder these lays are often used to settle failed love affairs, property disputes, family / business / political rivalry. PLEASE initiate to include reverse punishment to for false accuser so that misuse of law can be reduced and justice gets closer to the real victims of crime.

What if women does business of marriage for money weds a person and does fake case on dowry for money. If women tenant don't want to pay rent and do fake RAPE & SEXUAL HARASSMENT (SH) case. If daughter in laws threatens Husband and his father for property and money otherwise she will do fake RAPE, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, DOWRY case, if you don't give her your property.

Today jobs have become so scaces, and also due to poverty, ambitious women can do fake cases to get out of poverty and to fulfill their ambitions and to become quick rich to feed her family and fulfill her needs.

SOME PROBLEMS FACED BY MEN IN INDIA

Misuse of harassment laws: Laws meant to protect women from dowry harassment, domestic violence and sexual harassment at workplace are among the most misused laws in the country with a huge number of cases being false allegations.

Feminists however are the biggest bunch of hypocrites ever to walk the earth. They think women are god's gift to earth, and they are actually dumb enough to think that ONLY MEN do bad things. I don't even want to get into the psychotic radical feminists - they are like mentally diseased. And they have the nerve to say they don't hate men and they believe in equality.

Who do they think they are kidding? To any girls or guys reading this: Please don't be a feminist. Just be a regular person who believes in supporting both male and female rights (and not just women's rights).

The rights you save might be your own or the ones you love. Feminist believe in guilty until proven innocent (unconstitutional). They also believe in ex post facto.

WITH ALL THE DARK SKY, HERE COMES A RAY OF HOPE.. FOR ALL THOSE INNOCENT MEN AND THEIR FAMILIES…

Parsan Narang

17th July 2016